The Way It Really Is
by Angie-lane
Summary: Ok, finally, here's Emma's part. I know it took awhile and I apologize. Please Read and Review! Feedback is greatly appreciated! Also, tell me if I should try to add to this somehow. Thanks All!
1. Being able to be loved

Summary: Ok, this is basically just Sean's thoughts during the wedding. I love Sean and Emma together, and I love Sean's character. There's so much more underneath the exterior that he hides, and I thought I should write the real him and his thoughts. Or at least what I think he and his thoughts are.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing  
  
Setting: It's the last scene of the season finale, the wedding reception. There is a slow song playing and everyone is dancing, while Sean stands against a tree separate from everyone.  
  
  
  
So, here I am. The wedding I never thought I'd be in attendance for. The wedding I wished I would be in attendance for. Perhaps that wish is reversing itself... Why, might you ask? Because, I am not one of these people. I am simply among them. I wish I were one of them. Who wouldn't wish to be like them? Unfortunately, the harsh reality of it all is that I never could be. They have so much to live for. So much to be proud of. So much to admire. Just look at them, who wouldn't want to join them? I want to so much, but I just can't seem to find the strength in me to lift my feet, and walk over. Perhaps the best thing for me is just looking. I mean, honestly, were I to go over to them, what would I do? I'd still be out of place. I dunno, I'm just different.  
  
  
  
I know more than half of those people. There's Joey and some friend of his. They're dancing, and appear to be enjoying themselves. I don't think I've ever seen Joey smile so much as he is now. And there's my tie to Joey. Craig, Joey's stepson and one of my closest friends. And who might he be dancing with? Why, none other than Manny Santos. Honestly, for the amount of complaints I hear from him about her, he doesn't exactly appear to be suffering... I think he appreciates Manny's affections for him more than he knows. And he should. She sees something special in him that makes her feel it's worthwhile to give her affection to him. I wish I had someone like that. And right there is the cause of this whole event. Miss Nelson and Mr. Simpson. They are so in love, you can tell.  
  
  
  
It's great that they've found someone to love them; that's not always a simple task. I keep looking, but I just don't seem to have much luck. My parents never really loved me, they just wanted me out of their way. My brother, Tracker, he cares about me, obviously, but how much exactly? You can never tell with him, all he does is hide his emotions. Kinda like me, I guess... And then, of course, Emma... Well, there was hope there, then I screwed everything up, as usual.  
  
  
  
Speaking of Emma, she's actually my reason for being here. Lately, she's reason to do anything. No matter how much I deny it to everyone, including myself, there's no way around it...I still care about her. A lot. If only I hadn't ruined it all. Who knows, maybe I'd still be with her. I'm really happy for her today. She is getting a father, a family. At first, she hadn't been too happy about the whole thing, but now, you can tell, she couldn't be happier about it. Awhile ago she had told me that never having had a father never really bothered her. She said that it had always been just her and her mom, and she didn't see the need for anyone else. However, no matter what she might have said to people, I think she really did want a father, just didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to seem weak to anyone, which means herself as well. Well, now she is getting her wish, If only I could have mine... I don't know what it is about her, but Emma just makes me feel so different in every way imaginable. She actually makes me feel important, like I'm worth something. I don't think anyone else has ever been able to do that. Just everything about her is so perfect, no matter what anyone else thinks. She is so smart and passionate about everything. She always makes her point clear, and puts all of her effort into what she believes in. She always sees the best in people, and looks for the good right when she meets someone. She brings out a different side of me, that I thought I had lost. I smile, and I laugh with her, and she just makes me enjoy everything and have fun. I'm so different around her. I'm a completely different person. A better person... She believes in me, or at least she did... She was on my side for everything, even when I was against myself. I don't really know exactly what it is I feel for her. It's not a "crush" or whatever, but I definitely care a lot about her. Is it, you know,...love.....? I wish I could figure it out.  
  
  
  
She looks so beautiful, as usual. Even with that ridiculous hair, she's still beautiful. I just can't turn away, but I suppose I should try. I have to get over her now. There's no point in dwelling. I guess my feet are just going to have to be more interesting... Ugh, too bad they aren't. I just have to look back up at her. Oh, great, she's found me... Why is she coming over here though? She's hardly spoken to me all year... And now here she is, right in front of me, more beautiful than ever. "Hey", she says. So I guess she is willing to speak to me... "Hey", come on, is that all you can get out? "Uh, it's a slow song, and you're not dancing." Ugh, smooth Cameron. Real nice. Well, that certainly set the mood.... "No one really caught my interest.", is her reply to my absolutely pathetic comment. "Oh", is all I can say and then look down. Oh come on, you can do better than that. "How about now?" Why am I holding my breath...? "I'd love to" My breath is no longer being held. Now all I can do is smile. She's smiling too, that's a good sign. My heart is going a bit faster than usual as we dance, it's something about her, she makes me so happy. It's as though I'm transfixed, I can't tear my eyes away from hers. Ok, how is this happening? Here I am, holding Emma in my arms, my forehead is touching hers, with my heart beating louder than it ever has before. All I want to do is kiss her. I thought my chance was through.... She's leaning her head up a little, and I can't understand how this could be happening. She did it.... She did what I've always wanted her to. What I've always hoped for. She's kissing me. Me, Sean Cameron, the screw up. I don't want it to end, but she's pulling away. My heart is no longer beating as loudly. In fact, I think it's stopped completely... Ok, it's not like I've never kissed a girl before, it's just that I've never kissed a girl who meant so much to me before.... I just want to stay like this forever. Completely content, my arms around an angel, my face against her warm cheek. Well, if it makes much of a difference, I've figured it out....I'm in love. 


	2. the way it's supposed to be

Ok, finally, I'm updating. Yep, you guessed it, here's Emma's point of view during the wedding. Please read and review! It's much appreciated. Enjoy!  
  
Finally. It's finally happened. The beginning of the rest of my life... It's always  
  
just been me and my mom. Till now... Now I have a family. A father. At first, I  
  
absolutely hated the idea of my mother and Snake together, but I think the truth is,  
  
I was just scared. I was so used to it just being me and mom, we didn't need anyone else.  
  
My mom and I were all each other had, and I didn't want to share her. It was selfish and  
  
childish, but I couldn't help it. I was afraid that of a man came into our life, she'd end up  
  
loving him more than me, and then instead of it being me and my mom, it would just be  
  
me. I'd be all alone. I know now that that's couldn't happen. My mom will always love  
  
me, just like I'll always love her. The love she has for Mr. Simpson is something  
  
different than she has for me, both are equally wonderful, but separate, and I know she  
  
won't confuse them.  
  
I always said that I didn't want a father, that I didn't need one, but I was lying. I  
  
do need a father, and my mom needs a husband. She needs someone to love her and  
  
someone to love. She deserves it. She's so wonderful and deserves to have love. Snake is  
  
wonderful too. As soon as I got to know him more than just a teacher, I realized that he's  
  
really great. It's nice to have him around, it makes it feel like I actually have a family.  
  
And now I really do.  
  
Today was so perfect. I don't know what more I could have possibly asked for in  
  
a day. Everything is so beautiful. Love is so beautiful. It's effecting everyone here, and  
  
it's so wonderful. My mom and Snake, Caitlin and Joey, even Manny and Craig. I  
  
wish I had someone to be effected with... I used to, but that backfired. It's so strange,  
  
it was me who ended everything between me and Sean, and yet I still felt absolutely  
  
terrible about it. It felt like I was the one who had been betrayed. Sure, what he did to me  
  
wasn't good, but still, everyone makes mistakes. He deserved another chance. If I wasn't  
  
so proud and didn't always act on impulse, then I would probably still have him.  
  
As much as I tell everyone that I'm over it all and I couldn't care less about Sean,  
  
that couldn't be farther from the truth. I do still care. A lot. There's something about him  
  
that is comforting and makes it so easy to talk to him. This morning when I thought  
  
everything was going to be ruined because of me, it wasn't Manny I talked to, not Caitlin,  
  
not mom. It was Sean. I don't even know how it happened. My body just told me to go to  
  
him. He knows me so well, and I know him. There are things about him no one can see  
  
and that no one knows, but I can tell just by looking at him. He's someone different  
  
around me. He's himself. I'm different around him too. I don't have to prove anything.  
  
I asked him to come, but I haven't been able to find him. He's probably given up  
  
on me. Of everyone here, he's the only one I want to have anything to do with at the  
  
moment, and he's not even here... But then, who's that.... He has come after all. He's all  
  
alone by a tree. He looks lonely. I don't know why, but I can't help myself from walking  
  
over to him. It's like my body is thinking for itself. However it happened, I'm here,  
  
facing him. "Hey" is all I can manage. I just hope he's not mad at me. "Hey. Um ...It's a  
  
slow song, and you're not dancing" I was afraid things would be awkward.... "No one  
  
really caught my interest" Well, that's not true, why do you think I'm over here...  
  
"Oh. ...How about now?" Is this really happening? "I'd love to." I can't stop smiling. I  
  
missed this. Being close to him. Feeling understood. I forgot how wonderful he could  
  
make me feel. It's funny, how could someone with so many flaws, be so unbelievably  
  
perfect in every way? My body is doing it's own thinking yet again. I think is might be  
  
too. I can't stop leaning closer to him. All I want to do is let him know how much I really  
  
care about him. I want to kiss him so badly. It's so uncontrollable, that I'm doing it. I'm  
  
kissing him. I'm kissing him because I love him. The strange thing about that kiss is that  
  
I had complete control over my body. This is the way everything is really supposed to be. 


End file.
